Let’s begin with some introspection. Think very deeply, is there something really fundamental about you that you constantly downplay or excuse to fit in or make others feel comfortable? I’m not talking bad habits here though but I’m sure you get the point. Okay, please hold that thought.
A few days ago, I sat on the edge of one of the rows in church for the service and remained seated for a little bit after it ended to catch my breath and then a young lady stopped as she made to exit and asked to speak with me. She wanted to thank me she said, for owning my height so graciously and inspiring her to do same. I looked at the pretty, elegant lady and held back tears as I gave her a big hug. I could tell exactly where she had been and I really wanted to tell her how amazing she was and how that God was deliberate when he made her tall and psych her to walk tall and erect.
There were two things that stood out for me in that encounter, first is that every victory we win, is usually not just for us. It is the much needed stepping stone for someone else who needs a reason to fight. She was there in her flats, probably accustomed to stooping to compensate and accommodate everyone of regular height that she forgot to shine. And by just doing that, I had given her permission to launch out and shine. Never take for granted what your light can do for someone else. Can you be that wo(man) at work that shows that nothing is impossible to achieve? Can you be that one that rises above failure and gives a practical feel to failing forward by your story? Can you own your peculiarities so proudly that your light gives permission to someone else to shine?
Another is that, many times, you cannot understand a struggle you may not have experienced. I remember tweeting about posture issues for tall people who felt the need to slouch and accommodate regular heighted persons. A few people immediately assumed it was a lack of confidence that made them slouch or not own it. But, I have walked in those shoes of standing out everywhere like a sore thumb, do not even talk about how odd pictures can be with you at the far end standing erect so you bend over so your face isn’t cut off or the men calling out ‘dogo’ as you jog through the neighborhood or market traders calling out ‘palm tree’ to you whilst you walk past or people staring at you top to bottom once and then twice to be sure if it’s the heels or not and I know it is not for a lack of confidence. However, there was a journey of acceptance that made me stop trying to compensate.
Now, for many, trying to fit in becomes usual, not a thought is given to it, not because they lack confidence but because fitting is something that feels a little more comfortable. And then as the years go on, a very unhealthy posture is formed and health issues arise. One day, I realized God made no mistake with my height and I learned to accept wholesomely every inch of my being and love myself and yes one of the results was a boost in confidence. This is a major challenge for those for whom being in the lime light like models is not in the plan thus they need to accept the attention that comes with the gift of their height and own it. However, that thing that you are so eager to blend in, that attribute you are trying to smoothen out could very well be your distinctive edge, part of your unique selling proposition.
So, you see how excited I was that by just living in my small corner, I had inspired another amazing tall lady to own her space. She is a confident lady who probably always avoids heels because it makes her stand out further, even though that outfit needs a pair of spanking heels. She had designed her preferences around the ‘normal’ of others who really wear what they like to feel how they choose.
This is just a heart cry saying ‘live your truth’ and stop making all these excuses in your life so as to make others feel good. Whatever your reality is, own it and let it attract those it will. There is always such an amazing glow around people who own their peculiarites and live out loud, they walk ‘tall’ and stand straight and all the things that God has assigned to them with that blessed physique or peculiarity for instance are attracted to them.
So, this is me saying, whatever your reality is, own it! As you live your truth and shine your light, you will see life begin to respond differently to you.
Have an empowered evening.
Image credits: ldswomen