This is a guest post, I pray it encourages and blesses you as it did me.
I met my Lover sometime in 2003. He told me I was his wife on the 12th of June 2004. No we did not start dating, neither did I agree to date him for many many years. I decided we were better off as friends. (That my people is another day’s tori.) After all said and done we got married exactly a year ago today. Because of the time I took to weigh my decision to get married, I always said that I married deliberately and consciously with my senses intact so “no shaking”. However, the past year didn’t turn out to be all roses and cream. Mama didn’t raise no fool so I expected some tough times, I just didn’t expect the tough times to appear so soon. There were times I felt that I had made a terrible mistake especially when 3 months into the marriage my Lover was passed over for a promotion that was supposed to change our lives. It was like my world crashed. The bible says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour” So na me no fit add favour on top my husband head” was a constant thought and it made me doubt that I made the right choice.
After months of being morose, semi depressed and just generally being a nuisance feeling like I was a stationery sedan on the highway of fast moving SUVs, I rose above the disappointment. I just kept telling God – even if you do not do all I ask I will still serve you. I prayed a “this time next year prayer”. The “this time next year prayer” is a simple prayer where you tell God what you want Him to do within the next year so you can have a testimony on the anniversary of that date. Months passed and It seemed like nothing was happening but my life changed in 3 days. Exactly 3 days. The Lord did much more than My Lover and I asked for. He fast tracked my matter. You know what the icing on the cake is ? hehehehehe; it’s not yet the anniversary of my “this time next year” prayer.
My miracle is by no means complete but I could not wait for the anniversary of my “this time next year prayer” or for my miracle to be complete to share my testimony so far. I chose instead to use my first wedding anniversary to share and encourage anyone reading who has a need from the Lord. Believe me, the Lord is cooking something beautiful up for you. Be encouraged. The Lord that surpassed my expectations is well able to do same and even greater for you. It will surely come to pass.
Because my Lover and I are like Oliver Twist, we have gone ahead today to make another “ this time next year prayer”. Join us and let’s watch the Lord work His wonders. God keeping us alive I“ll be here again in a year to testify and I hope you too will have a testimony if you key in and make your “this time next year” prayer too.
Not because I am a pro at the marriage business, yes O, my lover and I are first class learners, but I would like to share 5 lessons I have learnt in the past 365 days. I hope it helps someone.
1.It’s a walk of faith
The bible says whatever is done without faith is a sin. You enter marriage with so many hopes and dreams but you’ve gotta have faith that everything will work out fine. No one can tell tomorrow. Ehen “Dem no dey know person finish“. You can never know a human being 100%. I knew my Lover for 9 years as a friend before we got married but even at that I cannot predict his actions accurately all the time. Believe you chose the best and walk the walk with faith trusting that God is involved. I had faith that he would’nt become a monster in the face of a storm, that He wouldn’t go overnight from a man that fears God to one that doesn’t, that God would meet our needs, day by day…it’s a walk of faith all the way.
In love or in chores, that 50-5o na joke. Your spouse may just need a good dose of loving during a tough period. You can’t just abandon said spouse with the excuse that you’ve been putting in 80% effort in loving said spouse up cos trust me a day will come when you will have no power to give and need to receive a lot. It’s an interdependent relationship, sometimes, your spouse may need to put in all 100% because you can’t and next time, it may be you having to put it all in.
3. One Accord
The bible wasn’t joking when it said ‘ Two are better than one’ or One shall put 1,000 to flight and 2 shall put to flight 10, 000”. If a couple can unite together, nothing is impossible. If only you both can unite , you will see great things happen in your life. I found that unity in purpose and prayers is such a powerful tool in any marriage. The power of agreement is not a joke, little wonder the devil wages such a concerted fight against united marriages. See my testimony above. Nuff said.
4.Food Network/Telemundo vs Supersports.
We both watch Food Network/Telemundo and Super Sports together. Not because either of us love those channels equally, but because we both have to show interest in what the other is doing. Football loving wife + Food Channel watching husband = super couple. Why? Those are great bonding times. No joke.
5. Gist power.
A couple cannot be in church together all the time serving God, neither can they be at the office all the time, nor can they always be in the bedroom attending to godly matters. 80% of the time, na gist husband and wife dey gist. Like they say “it’s about the little things”. Soooo if you do not have a few similar interests to gist about be it Tinsel or Arsenal, e get as e go be oh. These common interests give you a chance to form your common vocabulary, your coded language for all the time. Talk, talk Talk.
I pray that
Reading through this gives someone faith to pray a ‘this time next year prayer and trust God to see it come to pass. Trust me, I’ll definitely be back with more. God has been so faithful to us.
That someone out there who is waiting to see all the ducks line up in a row to commit to him/her realizes that marriage is a faith walk and makes that decision by faith. I’ve come to realize that you decide to love the person you are married to as he loves you too. You both love God (please I cannot say enough how beautiful it is to a marry a man who shares your commitment to God and your altar too. No take that matter play), love each other, have things in common, abeg no chop the guy/babe head with all those theory wey you don read from plenty books and on top social media.
I come from a family of very tall people and I didn’t gain in height, even if it was something I really wanted. My lover is not the best of singers, he may even be tone deaf (he he he) and I love music and love to sing. All the perceived inadequacies matter not though; my husband has a gigantic heart with more than enough love for two. He has become my father, my nurse, my cheerleader, cook etc and has loved me past my imaginations. Height couldn’t have made up for that, neither could he having a whole head of hair.
So what if he’s not as tall as you would have liked? Talk true, in the grand scheme of things, some of those things that you hold up are at best ephemeral concerns. Go for the bone…what kind of man/woman is he/she? At the very best, imagine him/her with no money, no nice clothes, no job, would you still be able to joke and be friends? Go for the things money cannot buy. Money comes and goes…
Thanks for sharing this day with me, I trust God to come through for you as you make your “this time next year prayer”.
Happy Wedding Anniversary to My Lover and I.
God bless you.